A bit of sharing

[sadgirl]

Dear ÆUG member,

Pardon me for writing in English but I just want to share my story to you all. I came across this website few weeks ago (a little late I know) but I have been living here for almost 2 years and now I can gladly say I will end it soon.

I am married to a Danish guy in 2006 and sadly everything did not work out as planned. As Danish as he try to claim always, his alcohol consumption goes without saying. He gets drunk every single weekend on every single occasion and needless to say it makes me frustrated.

To give you a bit of background, I am Asian and I am raised in very high-educated smoke-free and alcohol free family and I am proud to say that none of my friends and I (when we went out back then) consumed alcohol even when we went out for party and stuff and it gives me a shock that everyone here does (with big capitals - that translates to with a LARGE amount of it).

Sure, I begin to drink (casually) when I get here, when I am out with my friends and such and I begin to notice that my husband is alcoholic. He cannot stop once he starts and that makes him different from the other Danes. I cannot even stock alcohol at home for fear that he will gulp them all.

It is sad though cos apart from alcohol, everything in our life had worked out so great. We had great apartment, he just got a great job (with great salary) and I soon will work as an engineer in this country and that i had no problem at all obtaining the residence permit in the first place due to my education and working background.

.....and that I just got my Prøve i Dansk 3 and DUF certificate (with flying colours, that is)

But alcohol ruins everything. It ruins us the worst cos I was raised without a single drop of alcohol in my life, and that he was raised on very much the contrary and that he believes all other Danes (the guys in particular) drink as much as he does (which I tried to convince him many times - they don't get drunk every single weekend like he does).

So everything has to end. Not just only of cultural difference, but because of one of the nation's biggest problem, alcohol.

Sometimes I do wish that Denmark has an alcohol regulation like Norway and Sweden, although it does not help much if he is being alcoholic at least he won't be able to find booze when he feels like it at 11pm (when all supermarkets are all closed).

I can only say that I am glad that we did not have kids. At least that will make things easier.

Well, that is just a piece of my life story and I hope things will work out better from now on and since I already begin to despise Denmark's alcoholic problem, I reckon I will get out from this country as soon as our divorce case rolls on.

[ABJ78]

Yes, that is a sad story indeed. And you just settled and everything here in DK - what a pity! You are right, in general Danes have a drinking issue, especially the youngs and teens consume large amounts of alcohol also when you compare with other European countries. Politicians have tried to make regulations by forbidding the sale of alcohol (and cigarettes) to young people. But it´s difficult. Unfortunately drinking alcohol is a very old and strong custom, almost tradition in Denmark. Beer, wine, snaps. I don´t know why and also disagree. Why can we not have fun without drinking? As long as people can control it however, it is fine I suppose to enjoy alcohol. But your story tells of a man who cannot. You say he is an alcoholic. If he does not drink during the weekdays Mon-Thurs I´m not sure if he can be said to be an alcoholic. Nevertheless he has a problem for sure if he doesn´t know his limit and must drink every single weekend. You are in a difficult situation - I can read it between the lines. You want to be with your husband, but not the way things are. And if he is not willing to accept that he has a problem and do something about it I believe there is very little you can do! If he would rather get divorced than get help for his addiction then I don´t see the solution. I wish you the best in the new year - who knows, maybe his eyes will open up and the 2 of you still have a chance. Otherwise - all the best to you in your homecountry!

[rosemary44]

you have valuable information regarding drug rehab in this site.you can check this also it will be useful.