Ægteskabudengrænser.dk

Hi
I am married with danish man and I am from asian acountry. We are married since June 2015. We have 5 years old son but only registered as his son on my home country because I gave birth on my homeland and not here in Denmark. Now I am 3 months pregnant for our second child.
I've received my opholdstillads last week of november 2016 and start my language school on January 2017 and finished December 2017. I started also VUC last year, August 2017 - present, meaning I never had a job. My husband not allow me because he said theres a lot of work on his farm, I work for him for free while I am still waiting for my permit and when I am free from school ( driving traktor, helping him when its harvest season( around 13 -14 hours a day), feeding the cows etc) . We signed pre-nup aagreement and he dont even give me allowance - he never give me even a single centavo. When I started receiving my SU from August until now, its me who are paying for what we need inside the house(foods,cleaning materials,etc). We pay our son Børnehavn from his børnepenge. Now that we are having our second baby, he told me that I need to shoulder everything , all the expenses for our new baby. And I cant accept that anymore, for almost 3 years that I accept all the emotional harassment( saying bad words, be little me, etc). I told him that I want a divorce, he said he will give it to me but I need to buy my own ticket and he will not give any support for our kids.
If I am going to file a divorce , is there any chance to stay here in Danmark ? or they will sent me home? I dont have permanent permit. First they give me only one year fom november 2016-december 2017- because his daughter from his first girlfriend turn 18 last december 2017. , and now we are still waiting for the answer on my second time renewal.
I hope you understand what I mean.
thank you

First of all you should find a legal aid office near you, where you will be entitled to legal advice, free of charge.

Your son should have his paternity established, and if the authorities will not do it on basis of the registration docoment from your home country, and your husband will not cooperate, you can file a paternity suit (you will be able to do so free of cost).

If you tell me which is your nearest big city, I can give you link to the relevant legal aid office.

They can then give you a list of lawyers who can handle your case and apply for ‘fri proces’, that is: the state will pay your lawyer’s fees. You can get this for both the paternity suit and for a divorce case, included a case against your husband claiming at least some compensation for your contribution of work on his property.

Thank you for your answer. I live in Frederikshavn.

Retshjælp (legal aid office)
Frederikshavn: Skolegade 8 (entrance from the courtyard)

Open Monday: 16.30-17.30

This law firm will accept ‘fri proces’-cases:

Advokatfirmaet Lisbeth Pahl & Thorbjørn Aaberg
Danmarksgade 81, 9900 Frederikshavn
Tlf. 98 43 11 11

Thank you so much
I have one more question. Like what I said on my first post,I am 3 months pregnant. My husband told me that If ever we get divorce and I give birth here in DK I cant bring my new child on my home country. Only me and our first child will be sent home. Is that true? He said also that he will not give me any centavo when Denmark sent us home, f.ex. money for ticket. Can I complain also about it? Because the money I get from my SU - we are using it for foods,house and my son needs. This is the reason why I cant save anything for our plane ticket. I hope you understand what Im trying to explain. Thank you again

Your husband is - no surprise, I guess- lying through his teeth. If you get full custody, you may take your children wherever you want.

As I wrote, your lawyer can also help you with a compensation claim against your husband. He cannot decide whether he wants to pay child support or not, it is his obligation, and if he will not pay, you will get the money from a public institute, which will then recover them from him. Your lawyer can help with applying in the right place for this. You - or rather: your children - are entitled to child support, whether they live in DK or not.

Also, it is not an absolute certainty that you will be denied extension of your residence permit. There is a very slim chance that you may be allowed to stay, if you want that. But it IS a slim chance. Talk to your lawyer about that.

Thank you so much and good weekend

Wow this is really sad to read. I can't believe a man will exploit you like that.

I can tell you are from the Philippines. Have you tried reaching out online and finding other filipinas nearby, at least for some emotional support? There are about 10 thousand Filipinas in Denmark, most of them working as au-pair.

Remember that you should not tolerate emotional abuse, and particularly not any physical abuse. Denmark is very different from Philippines in this aspect; if he as much as hits you once, you can go to the police. It might take repeat offenses for something to happen, but I just want you to know that should not accept an abusive husband.

While you are in a special situation (no permanent permit), Denmark tends to side with the woman in divorce or abuse cases where very small children are involved.

Also even though it might seem terrible to you, I suggest having an abortion with your current child. I can't imagine the terrible mess and poor economic situation you will be in if you have you go through a divorce and maybe traveling back to Philippines with a tiny baby... it sounds impossible, and will probably force you to stay with him just for the sake of taking care of the baby. It will also not be good to have your husband as the father for the tiny child.

Please keep us updated on how it goes, okay?

@ Bandcamp - abortion is NOT an option as marieluna is three months pregnant. Abortion is illegal after the 12th week, unless the child suffers from certain diseases or defects.