Ægteskabudengrænser.dk

Hi everyone,

Please help me on legal matters. I arrived here in Denmark as a tourist by my boyfriend last January, 2010. Since my tourist visa is about to expired and my boyfriend do not want me to go back in my country, he applied a working visa for me and hired by his own company. And since I have all the required documents and certificates to qualify for the position, the US approved the application for only 1 year and is valid until April, 2011. But, unfortunately, the company was not successful and it failed in just a month of operation, so I did not received any salary from it, and the fact that it was also my boyfriend's business. Time has passed, and then we decided to get marry. We got married last December, 2010, and got the family reunification visa approved for 2 years and valid until December, 2012. Currently, I am still studying my danish lesson 3.2. Likewise, I am also in 2nd. semester university student here in Denmark. Since my schedule was not tight, i was able to get a part time job just currently, about a week or so, as a cleaner in one of the company, working 5 days/week and 4 hrs/day. And, we have no child.

The problem is that, my husband is cheating on me. And he want to keep on doing that or else he will file a divorce for me if I cannot just accept it. Other than that, I also suffer from him beating me up and bad mouth at me, and sometimes threaten me and my family. I did not report to the police because I am very scared of him. But my doctor knows how I suffer emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Questions:

1. Cheating is not illegal in Denmark, but to me, I could not take it morally since he even bring his woman to our own house and sent me out for days away from the house. If he will apply for a divorce, and I do not want to sign on it, will the case of him cheating will make the judge favor on me to stay here in Denmark to continue my studies and since I just got a job to support myself?

2. I am receiving SU and my husband applied an SU loan for me. But the thing is that, he is the one controlling the money since he got my card and NemID, and he only gave me money for food. If we get divorce, and I would like to appeal to continue my studies since I believe, with the SU alone plus my part time job on the side, will able to support me to stay here in Denmark because I am a very flexible person. Do you think this will help my case?

3. Right now, the house rental, car loan, car insurance, and his mobile plan is under my name, so basically he is using me. Since he cannot use his name anymore due to bad credit. Can i just easily cancel all this commitments if we get divorce?

I really wanted to continue my university studies here in Denmark and pursue a nice career here, that is why I am working really hard on my danish lessons and having a part time job to at least strengthen my case, as I believed. But, I cannot afford to stay in an emotional torture environment of cheating in front of me and talking bad words on me making me feel degraded as a person.

Since you know my case now, please help everyone, and please give me the best possible advice and scenarios.

Needing urgent help!

Im sure some of the more experienced members in here will also reply, but as i can understand your situation i did some research.

In the link below it states what can be done - see the chapter "Victims of domestic violence"

Especially the last sentence, that the immigration service can help you file report to the police.

Please also wait for advice from other members in here, as there are many much more into the system than i, but now at least you know that something can be done.

The link:

http://www.nyidanmark.dk/en-us/coming_t ... nation.htm

It actually states that normally if you have lived in Denmark for more than 2 years you can get to stay - and you have lived here for 2 years now, so i think the chances are good. And its better to report him and get out of it, than stay in it because you are afraid what he will do if you report him.

also note that it states: "Domestic violence can be documented by presenting a police report (if the abuse has been reported to the police), statements from social workers, or reports from a hospital emergency room, general practitioner or crisis centre."

...which means that if your doctor knows, then his/hers statement can be used to document the physical and psycologically violence.

Helate skrev:also note that it states: "Domestic violence can be documented by presenting a police report (if the abuse has been reported to the police), statements from social workers, or reports from a hospital emergency room, general practitioner or crisis centre."

...which means that if your doctor knows, then his/hers statement can be used to document the physical and psycologically violence.

Hi, thank you so much for your reply, yes I have been to the doctor but unfortunately i have no bruises or anything because I went to him 2 days after he hit me in the head, but he can see the psychological torture on me. I also went to the crisis center and they advice me to stay there at that time, but I decided to not stay because I am so afraid that he will know, I also have a police report file informing my situation. Actually, I will be 2 years exactly stay here in Denmark on the 19th of this month. I have not talked my situation yet to the social worker, but I guess I think it would be better for me to tell he then.

If I will ask assistance to free legal aid and file my case, would you think the US will consider me to stay here and pursue my studies, since I already have a part time job to support my living here other than the SU?

He always threaten me that if i will not do whatever he says, then we will go to the police and he will file the divorce and sent me home immediately, that's the card he is playing, even if i beg him not to bring his woman in our own house. What stopping me are the commitments under my name and my current studies here. You have no idea how much psychological torture I am suffering right now that make's my stomach upside down and cannot eat.

As i said im not the best expert in here, and im sure that by tomorrow some of the more xperienced will also have replied. But as i read the link, you will be granted to stay here. Also im sure that the things about car and so on being in your name can be resolved. I would see it this way: Its better to get away from him and report it, than staying there and feeling the way you do.

I would either go to the crisis center - they would know what to do as they have the experience - or talk to your social worker. But i think that when you go, you should prepare to go and not come back to him.

Also i would not worry about his threat to divorce you, as the link states that you are the one who would be protected. So its more you who should divorce him.

In denmark, violence to your wife is seen upon as very bad, so dont be afraid that the authorities will take his side, Im sure they wont.

but again: Im not expert, so just see this as my suggestion based on the link and my commen sense.

Whatever u do, please keep us informed in here as we of course want to know how it works out. You can send private message if you want.

Helate skrev:Whatever u do, please keep us informed in here as we of course want to know how it works out. You can send private message if you want.

Thank you so much, yes i will keep it posted. I could not wait to read the information from others.

I hope the best for you and by tomorrow im sure others will have replied, maybe with some more info or better info than i can give. And then in my opinion you should just get out of there as fast as possible, of course packing as much as possible like clothing, personal stuff and so on.

I don`t have so much to add to the advice of Helate. There are some speciel rules allowing victims of domestic violence to stay in Denmark after a divorce. But of course the violence need to be documented, so this is your main challenge, if you like to stay.

You will need assistance from a lawyer to handle your divorce, and frankly there is not much more, we can do for you, than provide you with the information, you have already received from Helate.

Hej,

We have the same situation. But in y case,

US cancelled by Residence Permit even I had a job, lived in DK for 3 years, finished with the danish language in just 2 years, submitted statement from my Socialrådgiver etc..

In your case, I am not pretty sure that you will not be deported, because you only have part time job. And remember that you received all the benefits because you are married to a Dane, but after the separation or divorce you need to pay for your schooling itself...

Goodluck....

FIRST and very important: you need a lawyer! Find the nearest FREE on one of these links:
http://www.advokatsamfundet.dk/BrugForA ... agten.aspx
http://www.aarhusretshjaelp.dk/links.htm
http://www.dinretshjaelp.dk/

1) Cheating IS illegal in DK, only not punishable under the Criminal Code. It is a reason for immediate divorce, but only if the party being cheated on wishes to use it. If your husband wants to divorce you, he will have to apply for separation, wait 12 months after the court decision granting separation, then apply for divorce. But he WILL get his divorce, no matter what you do.

On top of that, since your marriage has lasted a very short time, and you have your own income, most likely he would not be liable for paying any alimony to you. There is no rule by which he can be 'punished' for infidelity by being ordered to pay alimony.

IF you have not signed a pre-nup before or after marriage, you are entitled to half of his positive assets. However, since his business failed he may have more debts than assets, in which case you will get nothing (BUT you will NOT have to take the burden of half of his debt, unless you have signed any paperwork concerning them).

That your husband is cheating on you gives you no leverage whatsoever as regards prolonging/acquiring residence permit.

The physical abuse may, if proved by doctor's report, give you some leverage. However, this depends very much on the severity of the abuse and on which country you are from, as well as on you lawyer's argumentation.

2) You may change your nem-ID whenever you want. Go to the bank in person with your passport, yellow health insurance card, close your account and open a new in you own name and have the bank register this as your new nem konto. They may be able to give you your new nem-ID numbers chart on the spot. I and my husband were able to get them from a danske bank, which was not even 'our' branch (we have different, several kilometers apart) after just a half-hour wait. Change your address temporarily to a friend's that you trust, until you have received your card and the code for it. You do NOT have to change in the 'folkeregister'. I have used this method to have important things sent from the bank to an address in DK rather than here in Turkey. After receiving the papers, I changed my address again.

Contact the SU to learn whether getting separated/divorced will affect your right to SU.

If not, you will most likely get temporary residence permit to continue your studies.

3) Find out whether there is an abused woman's shelter that will house you for a while, gather your things and move there. Search for a cheap flat/room.

You cannot cancel the lease on the house as long as you live in it (forbidden by law to do without the consent of the spouse), and it is considered to be the 'family home' (which does not end immediately with your moving out). However, there are ways out. Ask your lawyer about your possibilities.

If you have signed for the car loan, you may also just simply stop paying. Most likely the seller will then repossess the car, but your debt may be more than the current value of the car, and you will have to pay off the rest of the debt. The insurance policy is most likely compulsory because of the debt in the car, but when you can show that the car has been repossessed, you will be able to cancel the insurance. Again: ask your lawyer about the best approach.

The mobile plan you may simply cancel according to the conditions in it.

USE your right and possibilities for free, legal advice. Sooner rather than later.

MARIA2010 skrev:Hej,

We have the same situation. But in y case,

US cancelled by Residence Permit even I had a job, lived in DK for 3 years, finished with the danish language in just 2 years, submitted statement from my Socialrådgiver etc..

In your case, I am not pretty sure that you will not be deported, because you only have part time job. And remember that you received all the benefits because you are married to a Dane, but after the separation or divorce you need to pay for your schooling itself...

Goodluck....

Hi Maria,

Now I feel so down knowing your case that even so the US cancelled your permit. It is just so unfair after being tortured mentally and physically, the US would not even consider it. I don't know what to say. The free legal service here is only available thursday, so that means I have to wait that day then inorder to get legal advice. Right now, he made me clean the house because his woman will going to spend the weekened in our own house, so he kicked me out and told me to stay somewhere else. How brutal and I cant simply breath why such people exist. Thank you for your advice.

mh skrev:FIRST and very important: you need a lawyer! Find the nearest FREE on one of these links:
http://www.advokatsamfundet.dk/BrugForA ... agten.aspx
http://www.aarhusretshjaelp.dk/links.htm
http://www.dinretshjaelp.dk/

1) Cheating IS illegal in DK, only not punishable under the Criminal Code. It is a reason for immediate divorce, but only if the party being cheated on wishes to use it. If your husband wants to divorce you, he will have to apply for separation, wait 12 months after the court decision granting separation, then apply for divorce. But he WILL get his divorce, no matter what you do.

On top of that, since your marriage has lasted a very short time, and you have your own income, most likely he would not be liable for paying any alimony to you. There is no rule by which he can be 'punished' for infidelity by being ordered to pay alimony.

IF you have not signed a pre-nup before or after marriage, you are entitled to half of his positive assets. However, since his business failed he may have more debts than assets, in which case you will get nothing (BUT you will NOT have to take the burden of half of his debt, unless you have signed any paperwork concerning them).

That your husband is cheating on you gives you no leverage whatsoever as regards prolonging/acquiring residence permit.

The physical abuse may, if proved by doctor's report, give you some leverage. However, this depends very much on the severity of the abuse and on which country you are from, as well as on you lawyer's argumentation.

2) You may change your nem-ID whenever you want. Go to the bank in person with your passport, yellow health insurance card, close your account and open a new in you own name and have the bank register this as your new nem konto. They may be able to give you your new nem-ID numbers chart on the spot. I and my husband were able to get them from a danske bank, which was not even 'our' branch (we have different, several kilometers apart) after just a half-hour wait. Change your address temporarily to a friend's that you trust, until you have received your card and the code for it. You do NOT have to change in the 'folkeregister'. I have used this method to have important things sent from the bank to an address in DK rather than here in Turkey. After receiving the papers, I changed my address again.

Contact the SU to learn whether getting separated/divorced will affect your right to SU.

If not, you will most likely get temporary residence permit to continue your studies.

3) Find out whether there is an abused woman's shelter that will house you for a while, gather your things and move there. Search for a cheap flat/room.

You cannot cancel the lease on the house as long as you live in it (forbidden by law to do without the consent of the spouse), and it is considered to be the 'family home' (which does not end immediately with your moving out). However, there are ways out. Ask your lawyer about your possibilities.

If you have signed for the car loan, you may also just simply stop paying. Most likely the seller will then repossess the car, but your debt may be more than the current value of the car, and you will have to pay off the rest of the debt. The insurance policy is most likely compulsory because of the debt in the car, but when you can show that the car has been repossessed, you will be able to cancel the insurance. Again: ask your lawyer about the best approach.

The mobile plan you may simply cancel according to the conditions in it.

USE your right and possibilities for free, legal advice. Sooner rather than later.

Thank you for the advice, I guess I will just have to close my eyes and carry the pain until thursday where the only day that the legal service is available unfortunately.

Why not just leave today and go to the crisis center? i would think they also could help getting in contact with the free legal advice.