Asian Girl and Danish Boyfriend on welfare

[Helligeskov]

Hi, I am a Filipina involved to a Dane. I spent over 2 years in Denmark as an Au-Pair where I had the chance to meet this wonderful guy. To cut the long story short, we eventually became bf/gf but then eventually had to leave August 2013 due to my contract ending. The degree of the relationship became more and more intense and it was until 2 months before leaving Denmark that we both realized, we didn't want to end the relationship even after I leave. We wanted to get married but apparently, there is a problem. He is under the welfare system for a very long time due to his Depression. Everyone who knows him did see major changes in his situation, that even his doctor agreed that I was a very good infuence for him. However, we both decided to break up because we cannot see any other way of fulfilling our desire of spending the rest of our lives together. Still, I am just curious to know, if there could be any chance of getting married, a loophole of some sort. I do not think I am on the acceptance stage as of yet, since I am writing here. I would say that this happens to be the biggest heartache ever.

I hope to gain some advice from the people here. Thank you so much

[fundiver199]

There is nothing in danish law, which prevent you from getting married. However you can not get a residence permit in Denmark on grounds of the marriage (family reunification), if he is living from social welfare (in danish: kontanthjælp).

But he can move to the Philippines and live with you there. Or you can find some third country, where you can live together. Or he can change his situation by finding a job or perhaps getting preretired (førtidspension), if there really is no chance, he will never be able to work.

With the current rules, he is not allowed to have been on kontanthjælp for the last 3 years. So what many people do is, that as soon as they are out of the kontanthjælp, then they take advantage of the right to free movement in the EU by moving to another EU-country than Denmark.

Finally you could try to qualify for a residence permit with the purpose of either studying or working in Denmark. You can read about the rules here:

www.nyidanmark.dk

But for now maybe the most realistic option is, that he can invite you to visit him in Denmark as a turist for up to 90 days, when you have been out of Schengen for 3 month.

[fundiver199]

And just to round it up, he could in principle also move to Sweden as a nordic citizen, become a social klient there, and then take advantage of the very liberal swedish rules for family reunification. However it is not easy to find someone, who will rent out an apartment in Sweden to a person without any income.

[Helligeskov]

Thanks for responding, that has been very helpful!

I have follow up questions..

1. Do you happen to know the grounds for acquiring the førtidspension?

2. With regards to the kontanthjælp, does he need to get sort of reactivated again from his current idle status and be allowed to move somewhere else, perhaps sweden right immediately?

I believe it would be very hard for him to move here in the philippines as he wouldn't be able to seek proper treatment.

3. Will i be allowed to go back in Denmark as a tourist hence he could not suffice financial records to support my stay as hid invited guest? On top of the fact that he is jobless?

I can almost certainly pull out the money for my fare to go. But I am afraid that the immigration might reject my application since the person who invited me does not have a decent bank record

[fundiver199]

1) Not really in details. But basically the municipality need to have given up any hope, that he can ever get well enough to work.

2) I don`t understand your question. What do you mean by "idle status"?

3) Yes it is possible for people on kontanthjælp to have their BF/GF visiting them. He can pay for your food even with his kontanthjælp, it doesn`t cost a lot to have an in-house sleeping visitor and cook for 1 more person.

[skaanebo]

You can read about førtidspension in Danish here: https://www.borger.dk/Sider/Foertidspen ... egler.aspx

As a Danish citizen he can move anywhere within the Nordic countries without any requirements whatsoever. So if it appears he will be unable to find a source of income for a foreseeable future and be dependent on social welfare or that you will be the "breadwinner" for both of you, moving to Sweden and taking advantage of the Swedish laws on immigration might be an option. The major obstacle will be to find a place to live as landlords will often require a deposit and/or proof that you have a source of income to pay the monthly rent.

And yes there should be no trouble to get a normal visa to visit him in Denmark. Even people on social welfare are eligible to be a host for a bf/gf they invite.

[Helligeskov]

2) I don`t understand your question. What do you mean by "idle status"?

I heard that he could get some sort of reactivated in a sense because he said he had been "idle" (meaning, under kontanthjælp for a very long time). If one day he decides to stop recieving money from the government, and made a decision to move in sweden the soonest and find a job there, is that possible? Or am i daydreaming too much?

[skaanebo]

He can even move to Sweden and get Swedish social welfare if he doesn't succeed in getting a job.

It's easy to daydream but you have to be realistic also when you think about the future and ask yourself if you want to support both of you economically if he is unable to get a job?

[Helligeskov]

You can read about førtidspension in Danish here: https://www.borger.dk/Sider/Foertidspen ... egler.aspx

As a Danish citizen he can move anywhere within the Nordic countries without any requirements whatsoever. So if it appears he will be unable to find a source of income for a foreseeable future and be dependent on social welfare or that you will be the "breadwinner" for both of you, moving to Sweden and taking advantage of the Swedish laws on immigration might be an option. The major obstacle will be to find a place to live as landlords will often require a deposit and/or proof that you have a source of income to pay the monthly rent.

And yes there should be no trouble to get a normal visa to visit him in Denmark. Even people on social welfare are eligible to be a host for a bf/gf they invite.

Quite frankly, i really don't mind being his aid for good. I tried to convince him once to come with me in the Philippines and I will provide "everything" for him. But given his situation being sick, I understand why he rejected that offer. I sort of understand what u meant by being the breadwinner, because I gave what I earned as an au pair to help him out.

***Everything you guys said is just as helpful and gave me a sigh of relief. Thank you very much

[fundiver199]

If its possible or not for your BF to find a job, is very difficult for us to say, because we don`t know his whole situation. Maybe if he realize, that he have something new to fight for (your love), that can help him to get in motion. But of course its not easy to find a job, if he have been without work for such a long time.

There is something in Denmark called "flexjob" also, where the employer only has to pay part of his salary. Perhaps that could be an opportunity for him. And the good thing is, once he have a "flexjob", he can keep that one, even he move to Sweden or Germany. And then you can take advantage of the EU-rules to live together. After 3-6 month of living in Sweden or Germany, the EU-rules will also apply to you in Denmark, so you can move back here.

So maybe he should talk to his social councellor at the municipality about the possibility for flexjob.

[mh1]

Because of the economic situation in DK and elsewhere the Danish authorities have become VERY reluctant to award 'førtidspension' (disability pension) even to people with obvious physical disabilities, and especially to people who are young (as I suppose your BF is).

It seems a bit strange to me that his municipality seems not to be doing much about testing his ability/inability to work? If he should want to amend his situation he will have to do something active, i.e. apply for pension, which will oblige the municipality to begin the process of evaluating how much working capacity he has. That process typically will take at least one year, often longer. He will have to be assessed both by psychologists and medical doctors and typically will be given a 'suitable job' (according to his education or lack of same).

When a person applies for pension it is actually NOT accepted as an application for pension, but as an application for any kind of support to get an income:
- activation
- education/training
- treatment
- ressource-evaluation.
The number one priority is to make the person self-supporting, that is: enable him/her to work and earn their living. That can be through training and/or education supplemented with treatment for their ailment(s).

Secondary priority is to establish a 'flex-job'. That may be a job where the person with permanently diminished work capacity works say 8 hours/week, but gets paid as if the work is full time. Or works full-time, but is not required to work as fast as the colleagues. In principle such a job can be down to 2 hours/week (in practice probably no-one is working that little). One may even be self-employed as 'flex-jobber'.

Only if it becomes obvious that a person will never be able to work regular hours in a permanent job, pension may be awarded.

Getting through that process is very hard and exhausting, but necessary if one want out of the passive and self-limiting situation that is being 'kontanthjælpsmodtager'.

[Helligeskov]

Thank you for the insights everyone. I will try to talk to him and see which solution is more plausible for him to pursue. I will be back with more questions most likely, as you guys seem very knowledgable compared to the immigration. His family tried to seek for an advice from them yet all they said were hopeless answers. I'm very happy to have found this form. Thanks again